CollegeHumor: Recent Articles

5 Useful New Photoshop Filters, Vol. 2

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:00:00 -0500

Tired of your old Photoshop filters? Adobe just released five new ones to make your life even better (or at least seem that way). Roll over each image to see the new filters in action. Keep Reading

	Written 2009-11-06 16:00:00 by Owen Parsons 159 likes

Pop Culture QuickNotes: November 6

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 15:00:00 -0500

Last chance to vote for this year's Best Halloween Costume! Luckily Heidi Klum didn't enter or you'd all be losers. (Hollywood Tuna) Let's go! Hollywood did Halloween right this year, and here is a collection of some of the best. Jennifer Love Hewitt went for the simple but respectable Playboy Bunny (Egotastic) Kim Kardashian followed her whatever-they-are roots and channeled Princess Jasmine (Egotastic) AnnaLynne McCord went as some variety of Batgirl/man/boy/thing (Hollywood Tuna) James Gandalfini put on a Homer Simpson mask for about five seconds but it counts (WWTDD) Ice T's wife Coco put all other slutty costumes to shame with her Mermaid (IDLYITW) And Jessica Alba went as Dora the Explorer. I'm not gonna say she copied off of me two years ago or anything, but HELLO. (WWTDD) Halloween was also a time for famous females to emasculate their less famous partners. Mariah Carey made Nick Cannon dress up as an angel, and if that wasn't bad enough, Paris Hilton's boyfriend had to be the tooth fairy. Because that's something all men aspire to be. (Derekhail, Celebslam) Keep Reading

	Written 2009-11-06 15:00:00 by Sarah Schneider from 18 likes

Costumes

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 13:00:00 -0500

In college no one cares what you wear to class, but they do care what you wear on Halloween. There are literally million of things you could dress up as; this is why your choice in costume says a lot about you. This is what you were saying this Halloween with your costume choice.

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Written 2009-11-06 13:00:00 by Casey Campbell from

13 likes

This Week In History: October 29th-November 4th, 2109 A.D.

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 12:00:00 -0500

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Written 2009-11-06 12:00:00 by Alex Schmidt from

6 likes

5 Inappropriate Situations To Twitter

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 18:00:00 -0500

Disclaimer: Tweets are chronologically backwards for the sake of readability

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Written 2009-11-05 18:00:00 by Conor McKeon from

446 likes

Halloween Costume Contest Finale 2009

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 17:00:00 -0500

Our triumphant Halloween pictures finale is upon us. We saved the best for last. Rate the Sexiest Something costume below then head south to Most Offensive. A special thanks to everyone who submitted pictures to the contest and we hope to see you all again next year. Fingers crossed for Sexy Avatar y'all.

Sexiest Costume

More Sexy Pictures, the Poll, and Most Offensive after the jump

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Written 2009-11-05 17:00:00 by CH Staff

48 likes

Datings, It's Complicated: Issue #25

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 16:00:00 -0500

Dating someone? Well great! Send your craziest, funniest, most embarrassing dating related stories to me at dating.itscomplicated[at]gmail.com!

One time the girlfriend and I were outside in my backyard when she happened to find a bar of soap. So she picks it up tosses in her hands, pretending to take a shower and having a good laugh. So the next day, I'm studying for a midterm and mom comes up to me and tells me not leave my bar of soap on the bottom of the shower because the dog eats and poops it out. I never did explain to my girlfriend how the bar of soap got out there.
-James B, Ontario

My girlfriend hated Transformers 2 because there was "too much" robot fighting.
-Anonymous

My GF of six years dumped me the week of finals, seven days before I graduated college. She said she, "wanted time to be single and trust her own decision making." Six months later, she was engaged, pregnant and enlisted in the army.
-Rich

This August while sleeping on an air mattress on vacation, my girlfriend pissed herself, and because I'm heavier than her, it all came down and pooled around me. I woke up shivering, soaked in my girlfriend's piss.
-Drew, Wayne State

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Written 2009-11-05 16:00:00 by Jason Michaels from

126 likes

Issue One Hundred and Thirty One

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 15:00:00 -0500

The Ordinary Edition. Howie Mandel Howie Mandel's soulpatch makes him look like he tried to grow a Hitler-stache but missed by a few inches. -Andrew B. Things Considered "A Waste of Time" By Luke Skywalker's Uncle 1. Protecting the galaxy 2. Picking up power converters -Patrick Cassels Anonymous All Alcoholics are Anonymous. After that many drinks, I can't remember my name either. -Jennifer Morris Grammar Drink, drank, drunk. Not a grammar lesson. A progression. -Kyle Edds Hamburglar Shouldn't the Hamburglar be called the Hamburger Burglar? -Aaron Jackson Friends' Moms I'm gonna watch '70s porn until I find a movie with one of my friends' moms in it. -Matt Pullman Keep Reading

	Written 2009-11-05 15:00:00 by 105%-O-Matic from 40 likes

A Reading from the N00b Testament

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 13:00:00 -0500

more at loldwell.com View Article

	Written 2009-11-05 13:00:00 by Caldwell Tanner 206 likes

7 Professional Wrestlers Who Unsuccessfully Tried Becoming Musicians

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 18:00:00 -0500

There comes a time in a professional wrestler's career when cutting a mean promo on the Ultimate Warrior isn't creatively satisfying. They need more. They need to write and perform terrible songs for people to laugh at. Maybe they overestimated their talents, or perhaps they took a few too many chairshots to the head. Regardless, here are seven grapplers who picked up way more than they could body slam.

Chris Jericho, Fozzy

We know it's hard to believe that the man who beat the shit out of Shawn Michaels at Nassau Coliseum last year couldn't dominate any medium he chose, but somehow Chris Jericho's metal band Fozzy was unable to pin the Billboard charts into submission. Fozzy suffered from a revolving door of guitarists and drummers who would drop out, presumably unhappy backing up a singer who couldn't even beat Rey Mysterio, Jr., in a no disqualification match (psh!). If Jericho ran to music to escape the violence of professional wrestling, he should have chosen a genre other than death metal: at a 2006 concert, Fozzy's set was cut short after their opener threw a bottle at a teenage girl in the audience. Luckily, the concert's referee was momentarily distracted.

John Cena, "You Can't See Me"

Professional wrestlers need a gimmick. Shawn Michaels was vain. The Undertaker was an undead warrior who drew mystical power from an urn. Stone Cold was a wife-beating alcoholic. John Cena, arguably the most popular wrestler in the WWE today, intimidates his opponents with freestyle rap. It's a natural fit -- becoming a champion in pro-wrestling isn't about who has the best piledriver, it's about declaring yourself the best and challenging the sexuality of your opponents. After Cena recorded his own theme song, a rap about rap called "Basic Thuganmoics," the WWE decided there would be no more pussyfooting around and it was time to produce an entire album. The Doctor of Thuganmoics named his first record after his outright lie of a slogan, "You Can't See Me." It debuted at #15 on the Billboard Chart and remains the most commercially successful album by a pro-wrestler. Whether this real-world accomplishment is more impressive than his seven world championships and two tag-team championships, we'll let you decide.

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Written 2009-11-04 18:00:00 by Jeff & Patrick

53 likes

Parents Just Don't Understand: 11/4

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 16:00:00 -0500

Do your parents not understand technology? Do they ask you stupid questions? Do they send you absurd text messages? Do they use words like "MyFace,""SpaceBook,"or "The World Wide Web?" If you've got an example of your Parents Just Don't Understanding, submit it here! And thank God we'll never be as dumb as they are! Your parents' Windows 7. My mom just came home from Walmart with a 5-pack of blank cassettes. Tino S. My mom called me to tell me she liked my Facebook status. Colleen McAuliffe, Georgia Southern University Today my I was watching the Vikings/Packers game when that NFL robot graphic came up on the screen and my mom asked, "How much do you think that guy gets paid to sit inside that robo-suit?" tyler storrs My dad thinks Google Earth is in real time. Kaleigh F. O Keep Reading

	Written 2009-11-04 16:00:00 by Susanna Wolff from 80 likes

What Your Facebook Status Really Means

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 13:00:00 -0500

I've had enough of the drama! No you have not. You love drama. You hate that Gossip Girl isn't a reality show. The gym kicked my ass! You recently started working out and want everyone to know. If you worked out more, you'd know that working out produces a greater natural high than facebook comments. "Quote from a famous person." -Famous Person It's possible you heard something interesting and wanted to share. More than likely you couldn't think of anything to say, but wanted people to know you still exist. Keep Reading

	Written 2009-11-04 13:00:00 by Steve Hofstetter from 74 likes

Breakdown of Your Trick-Or-Treat Candy

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 13:00:00 -0500

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	Written 2009-11-04 13:00:00 by CH Staff 57 likes

A Bucket's Bucket List

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 12:00:00 -0500

Get bought by someone. Get filled with water and placed on top of a partially opened door so that when the next person opens it the water will spill all over their new haircut. Mold wet sand into a sandcastle. Have the Kings of Leon name a song after me. Get thrown up into by the hot girl who drank too much at the party. Serve as a makeshift drum for a down and out street performer. Get stacked inside another bucket to create more free space. Hold the fish used to feed the dolphins at the aquarium. Meet the bucket featured in one of the drills shown in the commercial for "Tom Emanski's Instructional Baseball Videos" (endorsed by Fred McGriff). Read the original "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" by Roald Dahl. Meet James Caan. Get made into a "bucket bass". Complete one of those crazy eating challenges on that show "Man Vs. Food". Spend a week in Prague. Sit front row at a Buckethead concert. Be a contestant on MTV's "Say What? Karaoke". Know what true love feels like. Inspire a movie starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman in the twilight of their careers. View Article

	Written 2009-11-04 12:00:00 by Alex Watt from 22 likes

Social Hierarchy Org Charts Through The Years

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 18:00:00 -0500

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Written 2009-11-03 18:00:00 by Conor McKeon from

1288 likes

Weird Al

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 17:59:00 -0500

Weird Al has adapted to the Internet better than any other artist from the 80's. His Chamillionaire parody "White and Nerdy" has over 50 million views on YouTube, and is currently one of the site's most popular videos of all-time. The song was his career peak, going all the way to#9 on the Billboard Hot 100 (his previous best - "Eat It" at #12 in1984). Since then he's explored digital distribution which, for the first time in his three decade career, has allowed him to parody current events and songs that are popular right now. Really, it's hard to believe Weird Al survived at all - much less thrived - before iTunes and YouTube. He recently released The Essential Weird Al collects 38 of Al's best songs into two discs. CollegeHumor: How did you decide which were the greatest hits from your distinguished career? Weird Al: It was tough. I've got twelve studio albums of material and I did have to leave off a lot of stuff that some fans think should have been on the essentials collection. There's some historically important ones missing. "My Bologna," isn't even on there, which was my first pseudo-hit. Even though My Bologna was historically important, it wasn't so brilliant I would consider it among my best work. So I had to weigh fan favorites with what I thought were songs that actually merited being on a best-of compilation. CH: So you hand picked the songs yourself? WA: I did, yeah. CH: When you were going through your earlier albums, did you rediscover any material that you'd forgotten about? WA: I don't think I'd actually literally forgotten about any of it but it was kinda nice to listen to some of the old tracks again that I hadn't heard in a while. It also was an opportunity to clean up a couple things. This new collection is completely remastered. It's not remixed, but we cleaned it up. I won't mention where exactly because I don't want people to obsess over it the way I did, but there were a couple songs that had a few little pops and ticks and just little things that probably most people have never heard before in their life but they'd been bugging me for 25 years. Keep Reading

	Written 2009-11-03 17:59:00 by Jeff Rubin from 92 likes

Issue #18

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 16:00:00 -0500

Ever have a shtty job that you wanted to complain about in a weekly submission-based column named after Blink-182 lyrics? Send your submissions to worksuxiknow[at]gmail.com!* I used to lifeguard at a country club. One day, an older patron came up to me and complained that the pool was "far too blue." I apologized and offered to "green it up a bit." The patron proceeded to report me to my boss, who agreed that the pool was too blue and my conduct was disrespectful. The next day, the pool was a little too brown, if you catch my drift. My boss sure caught it. -George I work at a gas station, so I get my share of creeps and perverts on a daily basis. One day, a 60 year old man came in and decided to tell me how his wife had just left him. He went on to tell me how beautiful I was, and how he could use a girl like me on his farm. He asked if any of my friends would be interested after I declined his invitation to "go back to his place after work for some fun". -Michelle I work at a family owned restaurant, one day I had question for my one of my bosses. I went down to the office and walked in on both my bosses having sex. -Kaitlyn Keep Reading

	Written 2009-11-03 16:00:00 by Brian Murphy 85 likes

Wingman Mom

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 15:00:00 -0500

Guy: So, where are you from originally? Girl: Well I was born in Rhode Island, then I moved here in '98 when- Mom: Oh! '98! That takes me back. You know, the first time Greg's stepfather and I made love was after we went to see Shakespeare In Love. Guy: Mom! You're meant to be talking to the ugly one. Get in the game! Girl: ... So, how about you? Where are you from? Mom: Greg... Greeeeg. Guy: What? Mom: Why are we in a booth? Do you realize that by being in a booth, three quarters of your vision is impaired? How can we find you a wife- Guy: Girl. Mom: Girl, if you can't see anything. You have to think about these things to score to your full potential. Keep Reading

	Written 2009-11-03 15:00:00 by Tom Philip 14 likes

Cyanide and Happiness

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 13:00:00 -0500

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	Written 2009-11-03 13:00:00 by Cyanide & Happiness 133 likes

Facebook Event Reminder Fail

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 18:00:00 -0500

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	Written 2009-11-02 18:00:00 by Ben Joseph from 425 likes

CollegeHumor: Recent Articles

5 Useful New Photoshop Filters, Vol. 2

Pop Culture QuickNotes: November 6

Costumes

This Week In History: October 29th-November 4th, 2109 A.D.

5 Inappropriate Situations To Twitter

Halloween Costume Contest Finale 2009

Sexiest Costume

Datings, It's Complicated: Issue #25

Issue One Hundred and Thirty One

The Ordinary Edition.

Howie Mandel

Things Considered "A Waste of Time" By Luke Skywalker's Uncle

Anonymous

Grammar

Hamburglar

Friends' Moms

A Reading from the N00b Testament

7 Professional Wrestlers Who Unsuccessfully Tried Becoming Musicians

Parents Just Don't Understand: 11/4

What Your Facebook Status Really Means

Breakdown of Your Trick-Or-Treat Candy

A Bucket's Bucket List

Social Hierarchy Org Charts Through The Years

Weird Al

Issue #18

Wingman Mom

Cyanide and Happiness

Facebook Event Reminder Fail